Welcome And Scripture Reading

SPEAKER_00 0:35

Good morning, Northgate family. I'm Evelyn. I've been following the 12 steps since January 1924. Excuse me, that's my mom's birthday. 1984. And I believe in these 12 steps, and I also believe that they were divinely written. So this morning, um, our Bible reading comes from Ephesians 4, 17 through 23, the new life in Christ. In Lord's name, then I warn you, do not continue to live like the heathens who thought our thoughts are worthless and whose minds are in the dark. They have no part in life that God gives, for they are completely ignorant and stubborn. They have lost all feelings of shame. They give themselves over to vice and do all sorts of indecent things without restraint. That was not what you learned about Christ. You certainly heard about him, and as followers, you were taught that the truth is in Jesus. So get rid of your old self, which made you live as you used to, the old self that was being destroyed by its deceitful desires. Your hearts and minds must now be made completely new. This is the word of the Lord.

unknown 2:09

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

Thank you, Evelyn. Well, good morning, Northgate. My name's Ken Jensen, for those of you who don't know me, and we are continuing this morning in our series Steps, which is based on John Ortberg's book by that same title, which is really about the 12 steps of recovery and the biblical basis for all of that, because it's really about spiritual transformation. And um, so that's what we're going to be talking about this morning. We're on step 10. Now, um, let me tell you a little bit about myself. Um, when we were starting this church

Steps Series And Laundry Metaphor

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and um, you know, in the early days of Northgate, as well as in raising our family, one of the things that was very important to us was that my wife would be able to be a stay-at-home mom, that she would be there for their kids. Um, and she found some little side jobs she could do to earn a little bit extra money. But when they got to the age where, okay, they're firmly established now, um, she went back to work, which meant now all these household chores that she did as a stay-at-home mom, there had to be a redistribution of labor. And so we sat down and we figured out, okay, well, I'll do this if you'll take that, you know, and well, I can take this one, but you need to take that one. And when we got it all sorted out, what felt one of the things that fell to me was the laundry. Now, here's the thing about laundry it takes a special talent. You have to know to separate the lights from the darks, you need to separate delicates from the towels, you know, it can't all just go into and I had to learn the process of doing laundry, and I have become the laundry king in our house. Yeah, thank you very much. Thank you. But here's the thing about laundry it never ends, it never ends. Put on a you know, clean clothes in the morning, in the evening, they go in the hamper. Next day, clean clothes, back in the hamper at the end of the day. And after a week, laundry needs to be done. In fact, when our teenagers live in the house, it was done more than once a week. But it just it never ever ends. And I tell about laundry because that's really kind of at the heart of the passage that we're looking at, our anchor passage this morning, because he talks about putting off the old self and putting on the new. If only it were that easy. Because it's not just about changing your clothes, it's not about just doing the laundry, it's really about a whole new wardrobe. And that's what he talks about. Look at this passage, he goes on. You were taught with regard to your former way of life to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires, to be made new in the attitudes of your minds, and to put on the new self created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Put off, put on. Get rid of the old filthy rags, put on the new suit. And that's really what he's talking about here. And it really goes to step 10, because step 10 is about that ongoing process, just like you have to do laundry all the time, you need to upgrade your wardrobe all the time. This putting off and putting on is a daily, daily occurrence. Step 10 says this says we continue to take personal inventory, and when we are wrong, promptly admit it. This is sometimes called the one day at a time step.

Step 10 And Daily Inventory

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Now, about six weeks ago, I preached on step four, which is about taking inventory. And now today I'm talking about taking continual inventory. I don't know why I was assigned these two past these two steps. Somebody's trying to tell me something. I just kind of take it a little personally because I don't know about you, but this whole process of change and life transformation is not a one and done deal. I like the way John Orpberg puts it in the book. It's I start with this idea, I can't, but you can, I think I'll let you. Oops. It's a continual process. I can't, you can, I think I'll let you, and then I take it back. So this idea of one day at a time, this idea of continual transformation, this continual searching inventory is really done on a daily basis. So, how do we do that? Well, I preached about it four weeks ago. I've just got one and listen to that tape, then I can go home. We all gonna go home today. But but there's really a little bit more to it to make it a daily process. But it starts with the same idea. You will need a continual dependence on the grace of God. Pai Paul diagnosed the problem of the old self. He talks about it with the Ephesian church as in the Gentiles. These are the people, this is what you once were. They were darkened in their understanding, having separated from the life of God, having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality. He says,

Why Grace Makes Change Possible

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That's your old self. You were darkened in your understanding and you were separated from this life of God. So the answer is going to be a continual dependence on this life with God. And that's what he's saying. The diagnosis is I can't because I'm trying to do it by myself. I can because of him and what he has done to bring me back. See, what I need in this completely new life, the life that Christ came to give us. He says now goes on. He says, They, however, that that, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ. And you were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. See, it's all in Christ. It's what Christ has done. The issue is that we have been separated from this life of with God, and what Christ came to do was give us back that life with God. In a parallel passage, it's in Colossians 3. He actually talks about the same kind of wording. He says, For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. You have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its creator. It's a daily process. Now, in here, in Colossians, he talks about as if you've already done it. But if you go back to the Ephesians passage, he says it's continually being made new, being renewed in the knowledge of the image of its creator. You have taken off the old self, you have put on the new one, now do it again. Daily, daily, daily. It is being renewed. It's being renewed in you. One of our core values around here in North End, it has been almost from the get-go, was that we are all people in process. You see it, we have it on a banner out front out in the lobby. We are all people in process, but but the key to this whole process thing is that we are making progress in the process. And because of Jesus and what he did for us, not only in the forgiveness of our sin, but now his life put in us gives us the opportunity for true change. Because of what Jesus has done, we never have to fear self-examination. No matter how many times you feel that you have failed and you come back to him and say, I don't know why I keep asking you to change me, and then I keep doing the wrong thing all over again. Because you never run out of his grace. I like the way Alistair Begg puts it this way: He says, On our best week, we are no closer to God. On our worst week, we are no further from God, because our standing with the Father is all in the righteousness of Christ. See, if you ever doubt God's love for you, if you ever doubt his ability to forgive you or change you, look at the cross. Because he gave everything and he will hold nothing back. Dallas Willard wrote a book a number of years ago called The Great Omission. And he says this if you would really like to be in consuming grace, just lead a holy life. He says, the true um you will continue to you will can you will consume much more grace by leading a holy life than you will by sinning, because every holy act you do will have to be upheld by the grace of God. And that upholding is totally the unmerited favor of God in action. And then he ends it this way: Grace is what we live by, and the human system cannot work without it. I love this line. The saint uses grace like a 747 jet burns gas on takeoff. You will never run out of your need for his grace. So it starts with and continues with an ongoing dependence on his grace. So, what's our response? How can we bring this grace to bear on our lives? Well, one of the things is you need to establish some new rhythms in your life. Because the old life that you have been living is built on a system of patterns and habits that you have nurtured for as how long as you have lived. 71 years for me. That's a lot of undoing that has to be redone. You have put this whole thing

Building New Rhythms With God

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in these habits that have built themselves into your life. So you need to change your habits. You need to start with new rhythms in your life. And I would start with this: start with your daily patterns. Just starting each day a little bit different. He says, put off your old self. I think we have it up here. Put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires, to be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Establishing a new rhythm for your life. Regular time. In fact, I would suggest this establish sometime in your day, a regular time. And I would give you set aside 20 minutes minimum. But just start a new rhythm in your life. And it might, you might be a morning person and morning's the best, or you might be an evening person and maybe the evening is the best time. But whatever works for you, establish a regular rhythm of time of renewing the day with Christ. And if it's in the evening, then it's sitting down for 20 minutes and just reviewing the day. Where was God when I faced this? How did I handle that situation? This one, God, thank you for giving me the strength through it. This one, I dropped the ball and I need your forgiveness. Now you might be a morning person and then you start in the morning time. He says, the steadfast love, Lamentations 3. This is one of my favorite verses in the Bible. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness, Lord. I'm more of a morning person. And so that's how I start my day. And I've talked about it. I've got a prayer journal I have kept since I can't even remember when I started doing this. I found for myself a prayer journal makes me slow down and write out my prayers and not just, you know, off the top of my head kind of stuff. It makes me do some of that introspection and that self-examination that needs to be done. But I start every page in my prayer journal is this morning, Lord, comma. And then what's going on? Where do I need your help? And what I've done is I've established this rhythm for my life. That's my own. And here's the thing, by the way, if you miss a day, don't stress over it. Just pick up where you left off. I heard someone talking about this. They actually kept two prayer journals because if they miss a day, then they would just write, see other journal, you know. Not quite the idea. But but whatever works for you, wherever the time is, give yourself 20 minutes and just establish a daily routine of reflection with God. And like I said, if you miss a day, don't sweat and stress over it. Just move on to the next day. And then that's the daily routine, but then maybe do a moment-by-moment recognition. And throughout the day, and here's one thing you can do on your smartphone or your watch, however you do it, maybe just set little alarms for your day, like every two or three hours. And then when that reminder beep or that vibration on your watch, whatever it is, remind you, just stop for that moment for a few moments and just say, okay, what's going on in my life right now? A couple of weeks ago, when we talked about this examined life, we talked about our heart, which is our inner being, our desires, our aspirations, our intentions, and our motives, we talked about our habits and obsessions and compulsions, and then we talked about our emotions. And I think at each step, when that alarm goes off throughout the day, okay, what am I doing right now? What am I pursuing with my life right now? If this was the moment that I was being judged on, how am I doing? Or again, habits. If the alarm goes off, okay, where are my thoughts going right now? Or emotions. What am I feeling in this moment? Remember, I said last couple weeks ago, your your emotions are like the dashboard of your car. They're telling you what's going on under the hood. And when you find yourself reacting emotionally in any way, just stop in that moment and just say, What am I feeling right now? Why am I feeling it? You might start your day this way, even as you get dressed in the morning. Lord, as I'm getting dressed for my day, I am taking off my old self, I'm putting on my new. You are with me. Guide me through the day. It's the whole idea of being in step with the spirit. Galatians 5 25 says, Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. When our daughter got married, she wanted to do a father-daughter dance. Now, I never danced in my life. I am not a dancer. In fact, the household I grew up in, church I went to, pretty conservative. You know, we don't smoke, dance, or chew, and we don't go with girls to do, you know, kind of a thing.

Spot Checks And Letting The Spirit Lead

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So it's like, you know, I never learned to dance, and now my daughter wants to do a father-daughter dance, and I'm not going to stand in front of a whole crowd of people and make a fool of myself. So we decided to take dance lessons, my wife and I, and actually my daughter and his her fiance. And so one of the very important things about dancing is there is one who leads and there is one who follows. Now you see, my wife grew up dancing. So she wants to take the lead. So we're taking these dance lessons, and I'm trying to learn, you know, to lead. And then and and the dance that our instructor would stop for a moment and says, Okay, who's leading? I said, she is. And even we just we just celebrate our 50th anniversary, and so we had a party and we had a band and we dan. So we so we did a 50th anniversary dance. And halfway through the dance, I said to her, Okay, who's leading here? Because I don't know about you, I want to be the one in the lead. But staying in step with the Spirit is letting him lead and then learning to respond. That when we are prompted, maybe by our emotions or by our pursuits or whatever it might be, in that moment, see, he's leading us. And so turning to him, Lord, what do I need to do? I I don't know if you notice this in this step, it says that we continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong, promptly admit it. That's the hard part. Because it's very hard for me to admit that I'm wrong. Now, in all honesty, and I don't get much choice, I don't get much opportunity to do it because I very seldom am wrong. And that is exactly the problem. Because I don't think I like to be right. I want to sound smarter than I really am.

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I want to look better in the eyes of other people than I really am.

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The admitting I'm wrong starts with recognizing when I'm wrong and then admitting it. So establishing a new rhythm, either in the uh a regular time with God, in the morning or the evening, and then those spot checks throughout the day, the moment by moment, the day by day. And then in all of that, it talks about redirecting your focus. Because whatever you focus on will keep your attention and it will hold your attention. And if it's a bad habit or or something like that, it will continue to increase in its pull as long as you think about it. And try a little experiment with me. Okay, what I want you to do right now is think about your tongue as it sits in your mouth, you know, up against your the back of your front teeth, whatever it is, just think about your tongue. Recognize that it's there, what it's doing. Okay, now stop completely thinking about your tongue. No, stop now thinking about your tongue. You see, because you've I put it in your mind to think about your tongue. And now it's gonna, you're gonna be thinking about your tongue for the rest of the day. No. But but that's what happens is when we focus on something and it capture captures our attention, it's hard to change and think about something else. And that is what it is like with habits. They have become so ingrained that they've actually kind of taken over without you thinking about them. But then you start to think about them and they become they have increase their pull and their draw on you. And that's why this whole putting off and putting on is such a daily thing. The putting off is important, but the best way to put off is to put on something new, establish new rhythms, establish new habits. Paul goes on in this letter to the Ephesians, and he talks about this putting on, pulling off, he says, put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor. In other words, change the way that you think. When your natural reaction is to cover for yourself or to make an excuse, or to even lie, like okay, instead of saying, Oh, the traffic was horrible, you know, I'm sorry I'm late, I was still. In traffic, why don't you just admit

Replacing Habits With Truth And Kindness

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you didn't leave the house early enough? I mean, that's a real simple one, but how often do we do that? Because we're covering for ourselves. He said, just little things like that. Thank you very much. But it is little things like that. If you establish a replacement for the lies that you tend to falter, and there's other lies you tell, okay, that's just a little one. But but make it a point to speak truthfully, to catch yourself in that moment. Develop a habit of truthfulness, even in the little things. Here's another one. He goes on in verse 26. In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. So you're gonna have an emotional reaction in anger, but don't sin. Hold back. Have you anybody heard of amygdala hijack? Okay, the amygdala is a like almond-shaped, pair of almond-shaped um glands, I guess they are, in your brain. And they send at the base of your brain and and and they control your emotions. And what happens is when you are threatened, it it controls the fight or flight reaction. And and you know, throughout history, you know, it's it's kept a lot of people safe. But in our modern society, that amygdala can be set off by stress, it can be set off by a whole lot of other things. And what happens is it hijacks rational thinking and it has an emotional reaction. So when you react in anger, that that emotion is an amygdala hijack. Now, the best way they say you can avoid amygdala hijack, it's called the six-second rule. If you can for six seconds stop, take a deep breath, you don't even have to count to ten, just count to six. But it will give you the opportunity to step back from the emotional reaction and treat it differently. So he says, in your anger, don't sin. Yeah, you're gonna react to something, but just for six seconds, stop and take a deep breath. Establish a new pattern. When you feel the stress growing and you feel like you're gonna explode on somebody, take a deep breath.

SPEAKER_01 24:51

Don't sin. Says, go on.

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Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful. Develop a habit of encouragement and comfort. When that habit of gossip creeps up and you want to talk about all those juicy details with somebody else, don't. But don't just stop gossiping. Instead, look for ways to encourage or comfort or compliment somebody. In fact, here's what you might do. Just at the beginning of your day, when you have that time, you say, okay, God, today I'm putting off that old self. Yesterday's gone. I'm putting on the new self. Today I'm going to start with an intentional habit of kindness or an intentional habit of encouragement and just look for opportunities to encourage somebody or compliment somebody. Or after you at the line at Starbucks, you know, whatever it might be. Just let somebody else go in front of you. Make that a habit, and it will change everything else. He goes on, get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice, be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you. Remember his grace and what he has done in your life and extend that on to somebody else. It's establishing an intentional habit of forgiveness and amends. See, that this is the whole thing. It's not just take off the old self, it's put on the new. Change your routines, change your habits, put on new habits. And it's that daily prayer. God, I can't, you can, I'm gonna let you. I confess my faults, I do that inventory each day, and I continue to move forward.

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And here's the thing keep in mind, it is a marathon, not a sprint. Writer of the Hebrews put it this way.

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There it is. Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. He's talking about running a race. And he says, it's like you got your sweats on and you dropped them to get into your, but you kept the sweats around your ankles and then you're tripping all over yourself. He says, throw off everything that hinders,

Progress Not Perfection And Closing Prayer

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the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. He's with you in this. And his grace continues to strengthen and change. And it's all about progress, not perfection. Just keep making progress. Paul wrote to the Philippian church this. I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. And this is the Apostle Paul, okay, who wrote like more than half of the New Testament. And he is writing towards the end of his life, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. So there is hope for you. But one thing I do, forgetting what is behind, straining towards what is ahead, I press on to the goal to win the prize for which Christ has called me heavenward. God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. That is a nut in a nutshell, is step 10. Forgetting what is behind. Looking forward to what is ahead, I press on. Day by day, moment by moment, putting my faith and trust in him. It is that one day at a time mentality. It's a marathon, not a sprint. It's about progress, not just perfection. And what Christ accomplished on the cross, not only forgave your past, but he is there with you by his Holy Spirit each and every day. Christ gave his life on a cross, not just to forgive your sin, but to give you a new life. And maybe you're here today and you think this is all about just recovery and getting rid of a few bad habits. It's really about life transformation. And because of what Christ did on the cross, there is that hope and that promise for that new life. And if you've never done that before, today you can, maybe for the very first time, say, Lord, I can't. You can, I'm letting go. Thank you for your grace and your forgiveness. Now change me from the inside out. So, Lord, all of us here, none of us is perfect. We're still in process. Some of us further along, maybe than others, but every one of us in need of your grace and your power, because we cannot do this on our own. So may we each day this week learn to turn over a little bit more and to put on that new self that you are creating within us. In Jesus' name we pray.

SPEAKER_01 30:27

Amen.