Speaker 1: 0:13

North Gate Church. What's up? I'm Jay Hewitt. I'm an iron man who's battling brain cancer and I'm here today to boast my weakness, to glorify God and to help you build a resilient faith for resilient life, because life's hard right, life is hard, but you can do hard things because you got a God who is with you. And man, I'm telling you, over the last six years or so I've been through it. God has brought me through a master class of rejoicing while suffering and pressing on towards the prize, and what I want to do is pass on some of what the Lord has been teaching me to you to encourage you so that you too can press on towards that prize and keep the faith.

Speaker 1: 1:03

So here's how it happened. I was with my wife, natalie and my daughter Hero, and we had just planted a new church down in Southern California, in the city of Orange, and it was going well. It was actually working, it was growing, and the biggest problem that we had is we had to keep finding bigger places to meet in because we kept growing. We had like the good problems, until a bad problem showed up Out of nowhere. I had a seizure. I had never experienced anything like this before. It hit me hard. I wasn't sure what it was, but I went to my doctor and my doctor sent me to a neurologist, who sent me to a radiologist. I got some tests done and then radio silence. You ever been there before where something's going on medically? You don't know what is, and you get a test and you just got to wait for them to get back to you. That waiting period's a little tough and I was waiting and waiting and it seemed like a little too long to wait.

Speaker 1: 2:01

And then one soft Sunday afternoon, after I was done preaching at my church, I had gone home and I got a call on my cell phone. I didn't recognize the number, but I picked it up anyway and a neurosurgeon introduced himself. He said a mutual friend of ours passed on your scan to me. I'm in my home office right now looking at your brain and I needed to call you to tell you that you have a brain tumor. That just took it out of me.

Speaker 1: 2:28

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to ask. But what I did ask was is it cancer? And he said we're not sure yet. Might be benign, might be malignant, we won't know until we get in there, remove it and test it. Oh, get in there. So brain surgery.

Speaker 1: 2:44

And he said, yeah, definitely brain surgery if possible. Your tumor is about the size of a ping pong ball and it's right at the center of your brain. It's part of the brain it's called the eloquent cortex, it's kind of what makes you a person, it's all your internal functioning. So he said there are only five surgeons qualified to attempt this surgery and he connected me to one of them who just happens to live up here, just happens to practice out of UCSF, and so within a short time and a good fight with my insurance, finally I got the approval to come up to San Francisco and to have brain surgery and I had the unique pleasure of having brain surgery while remaining awake, which I'm not going to tell you about that right now.

Speaker 1: 3:30

It's a whole other story. It's a good story, but I went through this very, very high-risk brain surgery with miraculous results. Everything turned out great and they took that tumor that they removed, sent it to pathology, ran a whole bunch of tests on it and then my wife, natalie, and I found ourselves sitting in a neuro-oncologist's office and we heard the three words that no one wants to hear you have cancer. I remember Natalie just started crying. I put my hand on her knee and we leaned into each other, ready to take on a fight that they said we couldn't win, because not only did they say you have cancer, they said there's no cure, it is terminal. What would you do if you heard that? Some of you in this room may have heard those words. What would you do? I'll tell you what I did. I went to Dunkin' Donuts Saturated fat, am I right? Yeah, it was the next day. I dropped my daughter off at school and then I went to the drive-thru at Dunkin' Donuts and got a maple bar and then I had my moment.

Speaker 1: 4:46

Now. I'd been a pastor for over 20 years at this point and I've been walking alongside people who've had their moment, and now it's time for mine, that moment where you have to decide am I going to turn to God or turn away and walk away? A lot of people, when they face crisis of this level, or one of their loved ones faces a crisis of this level, they conclude like well, god's not good, god doesn't care, I'm better off on my own. And they turn and they walk away. And I really had to struggle with that for a moment, I'm better off on my own. And they turn and they walk away, and I really had to struggle with that for a moment. But I ultimately decided to turn to him and pray, and this is what I prayed. I asked him what are you doing? What are you doing? You just called me to launch this church and it's going well. We just had our first child and things are going well. Why, now, what in the world are you doing? I asked him, and then he answered me.

Speaker 1: 5:46

Now, not in an audible voice, but just like Jesus promised the Holy Spirit would do, he would remind us of the teachings of Jesus. Right, and here I am, maple bar in my car, no Bible near me, but the scripture comes to mind, one that I didn't have memorized or wasn't all that familiar with then, but the scripture came to mind 2 Corinthians, 12, 9 and 10. Let me give you the context to this. The apostle Paul is struggling with what he calls a thorn in his flesh, kind of mysterious, doesn't really tell us many details. Some scholars think that might've been an illness that was hampering his travel. Other people think that it might have been someone that was sent to persecute him and was trying to cause trouble for him. Whatever it is, it was affecting Paul greatly and he prayed three times for it to be taken away.

Speaker 1: 6:32

Now, the number three in the Bible means complete, so he basically prayed it all the way through. There's nothing left to pray about. And then the answer that Paul got was basically the same answer I got no, no. But Jesus was kind enough to say to Paul, to explain to Paul. And now the Holy Spirit, taking those words, speaking straight to my soul, jesus said my grace is sufficient for you. The answer is no, but it's okay, my grace is sufficient for you, for my power, my power is made perfect in weakness. Another way to say it is my power is best displayed in weakness, is best displayed in weakness. Another way to think of it is when you are beyond yourself and God comes through for you, you know it's God. When you don't have anything left, then you know it's God. And so he spoke these words to my soul and I concluded the exact same thing that the apostle Paul concluded Later in verse 10, okay, if that's true, then when I'm weak, I'm actually strong.

Speaker 1: 7:43

So, although I'm entering into a season of life where I'm going to be at my weakest ever, I'm also positioned to be stronger than I've ever been before, and I had this understanding. What is God doing? I don't know fully, but I do know he's going to teach me the true meaning of strength, that he's going to teach me that paradoxical interplay between weakness and strength and how you have to pass through weakness to access that strength. And I was going to learn what it means to be sustained by God's grace. And so I left Dunkin' Donuts and my heart was satisfied. I wasn't happy, obviously, but I called out to the Lord and he answered me and he strengthened my soul and he made me bold, and so, as I drove home, I prayed my second prayer. I prayed God what are you doing? And then I prayed God, how can I join you? How can I cooperate with you Now? This is a prayer that I learned to pray in college, and if you're looking to grow spiritually today, right now, these two prayers in combination will grow you spiritually. If you start to pray God. What are you doing, god? What are you doing in me? What are you doing in my family? What are you doing around me, in my church and the place that I work? Where are you at work, god? What are you doing? And how can I join you? How can I cooperate with that? If you want to grow spiritually, that's all you need, no-transcript. And how can I join? Because I still trust you.

Speaker 1: 9:34

And then I got this crazy idea. I wouldn't say like the first prayer, I'd say the Lord spoke through scripture. This one, I would say the Holy Spirit gave me a nudge, that's the best I can describe it. So I had this idea what if? What if I attempt something that I never thought I could possibly do, even at my best? And what if I attempt it at my weakest? I thought, what if I attempt while going through cancer treatment? What if I attempt an Ironman triathlon? Now you got to understand I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I was not a triathlete, I wasn't even an athlete, I didn't play high school sports. You getting the picture. So for those of you that don't know what an Ironman is because I didn't quite fully at that moment either an Ironman is a triathlon. So you swim and then you bike and then you run. Now, Ironman is kind of one of the gold standards of endurance sports, so it's a triathlon. But it's just ridiculously long of endurance sports. So it's a triathlon, but it's just ridiculously long. So you swim two and a half miles and then you get out of the open water, swim onto a bike and you ride for 112 miles and then, when you're done with that, you put on some shoes and you just top the day off with a marathon. That's what an Ironman is, and I thought, what if I do that?

Speaker 1: 10:47

While I'm going through treatment and I realized something. I realized that my daughter was going to see me sick. She was going to see me knocked down, and for me, as a dad, to let her see me weak like that, to be vulnerable like that, I needed to know that she would also see the power of God working through me. So when I had this idea, I realized that within this obstacle that I was facing, this mountain that I could not climb on my own, there was an opportunity within the obstacle. I had a chance not just to kind of flippantly say like, hey, honey, you know you can do anything if you put your mind to it. I could show her what it looks like to have resilient faith, what it looks like to trust the scripture and to live life accordingly. I could let her see God's power displayed through my weakness in a very tangible way, and I thought this might not be too ridiculous after all.

Speaker 1: 11:58

So I went inside to ask my wife she's got a PhD, she's smart, smarter than I and I said hey, natalie, what do you think if, while I'm going through treatment, I attempted an Ironman? And she said I think that's a good idea? And I thought, uh-oh, wasn't expecting that. So then I went to my pastor, because every pastor should have a pastor outside of their church. So I have one of those. I went to my pastor and I said hey, I've got this idea that the Holy Spirit is speaking to me. I know it's hard to judge what's going on. Is this crazy? And he said I think it's good. So I went home and I went to Hero and I said honey, I'm going to try something that normally I couldn't do, but I believe God is calling me to do something. I'm going to attempt an Ironman triathlon and I'm going to dedicate my race to you. I'm doing it in your honor. And once I said that there was no backing out. Even though she was young, she didn't quite understand. I just knew if I get a chance to show my daughter what resilience looks like. I better keep my word.

Speaker 1: 13:09

And so, soon after that, we traveled for radiation, and on the first day of radiation, I ran one mile Every day. I'd pray for strength, and then I would trust God to provide the strength. I'd put my feet on the ground and I'd get up. And maybe that's what you need to hear today. Maybe you need to hear today. Today is the day that you actually put your feet on the ground and you get back up. You've been down for too long. No, you can't do it on your own. Of course you're weak. You're too weak to get back up, but the power of God displayed through you, you can rise, and so it's time to put your feet on the ground and get back up. I did it every day, and every day I would run a little further until I attempted to run 10 miles. I'd never run that far, anywhere close to that, in my life. And I attempted to run 10 miles and I had a seizure. And I thought well, this ridiculousness is over. I told my doctor about it and, to my surprise, my doctor said you can keep going, just go a little slower next time. So, sure enough, the next day I'm feeling fatigued from radiation. I'm nauseous, I've got a headache. I pray for strength, put my feet on the ground and I go for a 10-mile run. And I made it the next day 11. And by the end of my radiation I was running 20 miles, which is like, yeah, it gets you ready for a marathon. That's about what you're aiming for.

Speaker 1: 14:29

So then I came back home. I came back home and I thought, ah, I'm in pretty good shape. It's time to learn how to swim. I could keep my head above water, but swimming is a little different. So I went down to the Olympic-sized pool. I found a lane, I jumped in, I went down and back and I was done 100 meters. That's all I had to give. Now it's tough, because I have to do 3,200 meters and I can only do 100. You see, that gap there, that's a big gap. That's a big gap. I thought this is impossible and I prayed for help. Lord, help me. And you know what I've learned?

Speaker 1: 15:06

Most often, when I pray for help, he sends one of his people, and that's what he did. A guy that went to my church came up to me and said hey, how's swimming going? I said not good, and he said I was a division one swimmer in college. You want me to help you out. And I said, absolutely. He took off work early, every day would meet me at the pool, would tell me what to do, and then he would just yell at me. He would yell at me and yell at me and I would keep going and pretty soon I was able to swim a mile and then two miles and then two and a half miles. He got me there. God sent his help to strengthen me and teach me what I needed to know.

Speaker 1: 15:44

So now I got the running down. I got the swimming down. Now it's time for the easy part the bike. We all know how to ride a bike, right? So I get out my bike, I get on my bike, I go for a 20-mile ride and it feels pretty good. A few days later I go for a 40-mile ride and when I get off of the bike, I'm swinging my foot over the seat post and my whole body just cramps up. Because that's what happens with chemotherapy, right? Your white and red blood cells are destroyed, so you're not getting oxygen to your muscles like you normally would, and so they cramp up very easily. So I cramped up and as I was laying on the ground. I had this vision in my head. It's this highlight reel that Ironman loves. It's a highlight reel of world-class athletes crawling across the finish line. After 140 miles of racing, even the best athletes, their muscles cramp up and they crawl across the finish line and I'm thinking to myself, if I can't even ride 40 miles because of this treatment that I'm on, there's no way. It's just, it's not going to happen.

Speaker 1: 16:54

And it took me a while to heal and be able to get back to training, which was a problem because I had signed up for an Ironman in Australia, and it was. The start date was coming up, the race day was approaching and I was nowhere near conditioned to try 140 mile race, no-transcript. I wasn't going to give up, though, so I kept training, and at this point training gets harder because you have to start combining running and biking, biking and swimming you don't just train one thing and it wasn't working for my body, and so I prayed again, god help. And then a guy by the name of One-Armed Willie called me. Yeah, that's really his name, one-armed Willie, from Idaho. I had met him by chance a year before he called to check in. Hey, how are things going Because he is a world champion Ironman. He's got one arm. Could you imagine swimming two and a half miles with one arm? Yeah, willie was like my inspiration and he would call me up and he would encourage me. And he said Jay, I just met a woman. She's a breast cancer survivor, she's a world champion Ironman and she's starting to train athletes. And I told her about you and she wants to train you. So Margaret became my coach. She would use data from my sports watch to tailor make exercises for me, training program for me, and she got me to the place where I was ready to at least make the attempt.

Speaker 1: 18:22

However, this whole thing was happening in 2020. Do you guys remember what happened in 2020? So I got a call from Ironman Not Mr Ironman, but their head of marketing. So at this point, I was an Ironman athlete, not because of my athleticism, but simply because of my story. Their motto is anything is possible. So I kind of fit that.

Speaker 1: 18:43

So they had brought me on and they called and said Jay, your race in Australia has been canceled. And I was like great. And they said and we've never done this before. We're going to cancel all of our races worldwide, including our world championship in Hawaii. Do you guys remember how locked down Hawaii was during that time? There was no way they were going to allow a race to happen there.

Speaker 1: 19:09

And he said but we are going to do our first ever full distance, 140 mile virtual race and although you don't qualify for the world championships, we want you to take part in it. Don't qualify for the world championships, we want you to take part in it. And I said okay, what? What is that? How do I do that? I've never been to an Ironman. I don't know what this looks like. He said well, you just you plan your own 140 mile course and then you set up aid stations along the way and staff the aid stations and we'll use your watch to track and make sure you do it. As long as you do 140 and it's not downhill can't be downhill. As long as it's 140 in under 17 hours, you'll be an Ironman.

Speaker 1: 19:50

And I said well, let me think about it, let me talk to my wife, which is guy code for no, but it's buying yourself some time and a scapegoat. So I went back into Dr Natalie Hewitt and I said Professor, what do you think they're offering this? But it seems like a lot of work and she said I think you should do it. Okay, all right. She said listen, you're out training all day and Hero loves to watch you run by the house. I had this one course where I'd run by the house a couple times. She said if you can plan your own course, you can set up the finish line in front of our house. Right, yeah? So I was like, okay, that's significant For a guy who is facing a terminal disease, fighting every day to make it home, to have the symbolism of this race now finished right at home. I called up Mr Ironman. I said we're in, we're in, and then I asked my church for help and they organized the entire race. It was awesome.

Speaker 1: 20:57

So the day came quickly. Race day was there. It was 4 am. My alarm clock went off. I prayed for strength, put my feet on the ground and I got up. I checked all my gear, made sure everything was right, got in the van and headed down to PCH, to Newport Beach, for the open water swim.

Speaker 1: 21:17

When I got there, there was like 100 of my friends. It's still dark outside, but they're all there to do this opening ceremony for me and to pray for me. Yeah, I got good friends. So they pray for me, they say amen, and then I go to the start line. That's set up there and Natalie and Hiro have air horns and all my friends surround. They start counting down Three, two, one. They hit the air horns, I hit, start on my watch and I charge for the Pacific Ocean. I jump in and it is cold. It is cold, which wakes you right up and you're ready to go.

Speaker 1: 21:52

So now I'm awake. I'm awake and I'm swimming and I'm remembering a scripture that the Lord gave me the night before. The night before he gave me the scripture Nehemiah 10.8,. For the joy of the Lord is your strength. And so I decided that, through this suffer fest of a triathlon, I am going to give thanks all the way. And so I hit that cold bar Thanks for waking me up.

Speaker 1: 22:17

And I'm swimming and all my friends have moved from the opening ceremony area to this footbridge and I'm swimming along the footbridge and they're cheering me on. And as I'm swimming, and all my friends have moved from the opening ceremony area to this footbridge and I'm swimming along the footbridge and they're cheering me on. And as I'm swimming, I look up and I can see my daughter, hero, and I know she sees me, she knows that I see her, and she waves at me and I'm at this perfect point in my stroke where I will yay. And she starts jumping up and down and the joy of the Lord filled my heart and I swam, and I swam, and swam and before I knew it, two and a half miles was done. I was feeling good. It's like I was baptized, a new man getting out of the water. And I was ready to keep going.

Speaker 1: 22:53

And I did, took off my wetsuit, put on my cycling gear, got on my bike and I took off PCH. And at this point the sun was just starting to rise and the sunlight was reflecting off of the ocean wave and I was just like Lord, this is so awesome. People fly from all around the world to cycle this course and I get to do this. Not only that, but I could have been paralyzed from my surgery. That was a major risk. And here I am attempting something that I never thought I would ever attempt in my life. That was a major risk, and here I am attempting something that I never thought I would ever attempt in my life. Lord, this is awesome. And then a cop pulled up next to me so I'm a spectacle at this point, although there's no other athletes in this race, I'm there. A studio in London heard about this and they wanted to make a documentary, so there's a full documentary crew following me. And then Ironman's broadcast crew was broadcasting the race, so they had motorcycles next to me and then there was a sprinter van with a medic and a bike tech. So you can imagine. I'm quite a sight. And this motorcycle cop pulls up next to me and he looks at me and I just think were we supposed to get a permit? Is this all for naught because of one permit? He looks at me and then he just takes off and I see him up front in the intersection. He shut down the intersection so that we could just fly by. So then he catches back up, shuts down the next intersection.

Speaker 1: 24:19

When I leave Newport Beach, huntington Beach picks me up. When I pass through Huntington Beach, Seal Beach picks me up, long Beach picks me up. The full 112-mile race. That's a long way to go. I had a police escort shutting down every intersection. Lord, this is awesome. The joy of the Lord just filled my heart and I felt strong and I ended the 112 miles two hours ahead of my pace and I thought maybe, maybe, yeah, maybe this is what 2 Corinthians was talking about. Maybe I'm like a superhuman, now I'm just going to crush everything.

Speaker 1: 24:55

So I start off for the run and I have a pacer to run with me. I'm planning to run 10-minute miles. I've never done a marathon before. I'm already 120 miles in to this 140-mile race and my first mile planning to run 10-minute miles. I ran an 8-minute mile and my pacer told me slow down. I thought, but I might be superhuman, so I did. I slowed down mile two. He said you're at nine-minute miles, slow down.

Speaker 1: 25:28

But before I had a chance to slow down anymore, it happened. All of a sudden, everything that was in my stomach didn't want to be there anymore. Yeah, so chemotherapy? It destroys your digestive system, and so when you're doing an endurance race like this, you've got to take nutrition in all the time, you've got to take electrolytes in all the time. Well, in my case, it wasn't getting through the gut lining, it was just sitting in my stomach, which, when you're swimming, your stomach's pretty stationary, same when you're cycling. But when you start running, nah, not so much. My stomach got angry with me and all of a sudden I realized I'm going to have to run this marathon and have the stomach flu. Basically that seems hard.

Speaker 1: 26:16

And then I realized if I can't even take in a sip of water, there's no way I'm going to be able to make it without cramping. Even if I wasn't going through chemotherapy. You can't run a marathon without taking a sip of water. And I thought all of this for naught. There's just no way. You know, those highlight videos of people crawling across the finish line. That's one thing. But if I cramp up 10 miles from the finish line, I don't care what kind of willpower you have, you're not going to be able to crawl 10 miles. And I just had to come to terms and make peace with the fact that I'm not finishing this thing. A lot has gone into it, but I'm not going to finish.

Speaker 1: 26:55

And I changed my mantra. I started saying to myself over and over you've got nothing to prove, you just have an example to set. Because I thought I want to be able to look Hiro in the eyes and tell her I gave it my all to make it home to you. I gave it everything. I wanted to be truthful. So I decided I'm going to keep running, I'm just going to keep running until I can't run anymore. Once my body cramps up, that'll be that. But I'm not giving up. I'm going to keep going.

Speaker 1: 27:27

And so, as I pressed on, I was coming up to one of the aid stations and I looked and my coach was there. She had flown from Idaho. She was tracking my watch. She saw that my body was in trouble by the data that my watch was giving off, and she met me at the next aid station and she brought her running shoes. She started running with me, alongside of me, she started asking me questions. I didn't know how to ask myself. I was a rookie. She's world champion. She starts troubleshooting and she goes oh, you don't have enough salt in your blood, it's all in your stomach. You have too many electrolytes in your stomach. Take this salt tablet, put it under your tongue. It'll get the salt into your blood and hopefully you'll start to absorb the nutrients that you need. So, sure enough, I put it under my tongue and within five minutes I could feel the nutrients start to absorb.

Speaker 1: 28:27

And so we need to stop right now, because I need to ask you a very important question Do you have someone running with you Life and faith to go it on your own life and faith to go it on your own to make it, it's not likely. But if you have people running with you and if you're the type of person that when you show up for someone, you bring your running shoes, I'm telling you, church is filled with people like that, northgate, you are going to do amazing things. There's nothing that will be able to stop you when you bear one another's burdens and when you allow others to bear your burden. She saved my race. I could feel everything start to absorb and I thought I have a chance. I have a chance at this thing now.

Speaker 1: 29:16

So at this point, the sun's setting, which is a trip. It is a trip to start your race before the sun goes up, race all day and then watch the sun go down. I'm getting close, a couple miles off from my neighborhood, but as the sun goes down, a police car shows up and he turns on his sirens and he's trailing me and I'm like I'm running from the cops. This is crazy. And then he starts playing ACDC over the loudspeaker and they start encouraging me. You got this, come on. You got this. And pretty soon one squad car turned into eight and I turned into my neighborhood. I don't know what my neighbors are thinking. This guy's not just running from one cop, he's got a whole squadron out of him. But anyway, they're following me in.

Speaker 1: 30:02

And as I turned in my neighborhood I can see my street is lit up and I can hear the party already started. And I turned on my street and I looked. A contractor friend of mine built this. The iconic Ironman finishing structure took up the whole street and there's a finishing shoot on both sides of the finishing shoot. All my friends and family are there and when they see me they just go nuts. But I didn't care about them because I saw my wife and my daughter behind the finish line, right behind the Iron man finishing tape, and they were holding a sign that said there's no place like home. So at that moment everything blurred. I could just see them.

Speaker 1: 30:51

I floated through that finishing chute and after 140 miles, after 14 hours, I finally made it home. Finally made it home by the power and the grace of God. I was reunited with my family. I gave my wife flowers and a kiss and then I got down on one knee and I finished what I set out from the very beginning. I said to my daughter.

Speaker 1: 31:23

I said, hero, if I can do it, you can do it Because we serve the same God and that God is going to put dreams in your heart. Do not be surprised when life knocks you down, but you hold on to the hope of Jesus. Get back up in his strength. Press on and honey, I promise you, you will experience that anything is possible with Jesus. And I'm still here. I'm still here. It is no, it is. I'm here for treatment and I'm here for you. God has sent me for both and I want to tell you the same thing If I can do it, you can do it. We're no different and we serve the same God, who is the same yesterday, today and forever, and he delights in displaying his power through your weakness If you'll just admit your weakness, because we're weaker than we'd like to admit. But when you do, you become stronger than you could ever imagine because the power of God enters in and you will see that anything is possible with Jesus Christ. So hold on to hope, my friends, because you're gonna need the hope and the strength of the Lord, because there's always something isn't there, there's always something.

Speaker 1: 32:41

Stand with me right now and I want you to put in your mind what is your obstacle? What's that thing that you cannot overcome on your own? You don't have it in you, no matter how many people around you say you got this, you know you don't got this. What is that thing? Name it. Don't run from it, because with the boldness of Jesus, knowing that at your weakest you're actually strong, with that kind of boldness you look at the obstacle and within the obstacle you'll find opportunity to do wonderful things for the Lord, to love others deeply, uniquely.

Speaker 1: 33:22

But you can't run away. You've got to turn to God. You've got to ask him what are you doing? What are you doing? This doesn't make sense. Why, what are you doing? And then ask him how can I cooperate? And I promise you, you will see that all along he's been working for your good, taking all things and working for your good. We've been called according to God's purposes. God's put dreams in your hearts. He's putting a calling on your life. Don't be surprised when your enemy knocks you down, but you hold onto the hope of Jesus, you put your feet on the ground, you get back up, press on and see that all things are possible through Christ. Be blessed, my friends.